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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063413">Of Mistakes Made</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortify_countrye/pseuds/fortify_countrye'>fortify_countrye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, One-Shot, maybe chaptered one day</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:41:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,349</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26063413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortify_countrye/pseuds/fortify_countrye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Viktor's entire life has been skating. Now, though, he's been caught up in a doping scandal and forced to consider what he wants out of life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Of Mistakes Made</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a one-shot that could possibly one day be a chaptered fic. Nothing is promised.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>❆❅❅❅❆<br/><br/></p><p><strong>ISU Officials Confirm Viktor Nikiforov Suspended For 18 Months.<br/></strong>Viktor reads the title of the article again and makes himself take a breath. He found out the verdict yesterday, but the press sure does move fast and this will be the first of many, many articles he’s bound to encounter. This is quite possibly, the worst week of Viktor’s life.</p><p><strong>Olympic Skater, Viktor Nikiforov, Caught in Doping Scandal.<br/></strong>Yakov’s stance on performance enhancing drugs is one of zero tolerance. Despite their close relationship, Yakov terminated their contract and Viktor was expelled from the Champions Sports Club before yesterday had ended. Yakov expressed his regret over it all and Viktor understands. He can’t drag down the whole club and all of the other skaters, so he’d said his goodbyes and left gracefully. It feels longer ago than just yesterday.</p><p><strong>Viktor Nikiforov Fails Doping Test Ahead of European Championships.<br/></strong>This is not where Viktor saw his year going. He’d already started planning programs for next season, the theme chosen. The composer he’d been commissioning for the last few years had just turned over her work last week. A meeting with his costume designer is scheduled in his calendar. Everything has been derailed and he has no backup plan.</p><p><strong>Does Nikiforov Deserve His Olympic Gold Medals?<br/></strong>Viktor lets his arm drop over his face, covering his eyes. He’d known it would happen, but having all of his achievements—all of his years of hard work—questioned and dismissed hurts. He’s always had haters, it comes with being in the spotlight, but while scrolling through the headlines he’d also come across fans turning away from him. That they’ve gone so quickly from supporting him to doubting him is, for some reason, more hurtful than the years of abuse from the haters.</p><p>He wonders what other skaters are thinking. He knows some of them must resent him. Are they justifying their losses by saying he only achieved what he did by using PEDs? What about the skaters he’s friendly with? Will they take the opportunity to turn against him? Were they only friendly because of his wins? Do his friends think he cheated?</p><p> </p><p>Viktor’s phone rings a lot over the next four days. He ignores it. He realises that outside of skating he has nothing, does nothing, is interested in nothing. For years now all of his time has been dedicated to skating in some way or another. If he isn’t skating, he’s working out or conditioning. If it’s a rest day he considers choreography and music and programs. Viktor does enjoy these things, but the drive to pursue them outside of skating isn’t there. Despite some boredom with competitions, Viktor loves skating and had had plans to achieve more.</p><p>With nothing to do, Viktor spends a lot of time sprawled across his bed. Every few hours he sneaks outside with Makkachin so she can stretch her legs and go toilet but he’s horribly aware that if he’s spotted he’ll be swarmed by press. He feels both unmotivated and restless. Every now and then he’s struck by an overwhelming sense of hopelessness which frightens him to his core.</p><p>What if he can never recover from this? His image is completely ruined; the image he spent more than a decade cultivating. Engaging and friendly with fans and the press, liked by his competition, a sociable flirt. His sponsors are gone, not wanting their brands in any way associated with an athlete suspended for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs. It doesn’t matter to them what the story is. Will he be welcomed back or scorned if he returns?</p><p>More importantly though, what if he can’t recover physically? If he doesn’t keep training the way he always has, he’ll be in no condition to compete when his suspension ends. But Yakov won’t train him and he doubts any other coach will want him. He can book rink time and keep fit by himself, of course, but can he maintain the same standard without a coach?</p><p>Upon first hearing that he was being suspended, Viktor had felt all of his breath leave him at the shock of it. He’d thanked the official on the phone because that’s what you do, and hung up. Once the shock passed, he’d rationalised it. Eighteen months isn’t too long. Realistically, it’s only a single season, really. It wasn’t the end. But now. Now, less than a week in, Viktor starts to wonder if it’s over. His competitive career. Is it over? If it is, then what now?</p><p>Makkachin sulks for attention and paws at Viktor but he rolls over and ignores her.</p><p> </p><p>On the fifth day the hopelessness comes and then doesn’t leave and that scares him. Viktor spends the day constantly on the verge of tears and hating himself for being so stupid. Yakov calls around noon and it, like every other call, goes to voicemail. It’s only after feeding Makkachin her dinner that Viktor decides he can’t take it anymore, he needs to talk to someone.</p><p>There’s only one person who Viktor is certain is on his side and he calls before he can chicken out. “Chris,” he says when the phone is answered.</p><p>“Vitka,” Chris sighs. “I’ve been calling. Are you okay?”</p><p>The question unleashes Viktor’s panic, makes him realise that he has not been calmly contemplating things, but actively freaking out for several days. He wants to hold it in, to maintain the illusion that everything is going to be fine, but Chris is his best friend and he has literally nobody else in the world. If he can’t tell <em>Chris </em>and get this out, then what will he do after another week, after a month, of feeling like this? It scares him, the thought of what he might do.</p><p>“I messed up,” Viktor blurts and then the rest floods out before he can even decide exactly how much he wants to say. “I messed up and I don’t know what to do! I don’t have anything except skating, Chris. Skating is all I have, all I am. I’m <em>nothing </em>if I’m not skating and I screwed up in the stupidest way and now I’m nothing and what am I supposed to do and what if this is it and what if–”</p><p>“Viktor,” Chris says, his tone insistent but unhurried.</p><p>Viktor grasps his phone tighter, making himself stop. “Chris, I don’t know what to do,” he says, and his voice breaks on the last syllable as his throat contracts around a sob.</p><p>He can’t get a word out despite how much he tries to. He tries to apologise because he didn’t intend to cry and he tries to reassure Chris because he didn’t intend to freak out at him and while he’s sure he doesn’t express either of those things in a comprehensible manner, over his own sounds of distress he can hear Chris dismissing his attempts. Makkachin, ever the self-trained therapy dog, pushes onto Viktor’s lap and he cries into her fur and apologises to her too.</p><p>“It’s normal to be upset, Vitka,” Chris says softly when he finally starts to calm down. “This has been your life for so long and now you’ve been forced to give it up. You didn’t choose this, it’s okay to be upset.”</p><p>“I don’t know what to do,” Viktor says again and he’s pleased that his breath only hitches once.</p><p>“You don’t need to decide right away, I mean, you have eighteen months don’t you?”</p><p>“But what do I do? While deciding? What am I supposed to do?”</p><p>“I think you should go on holiday,” Chris says. The last time Viktor went on a holiday he got mobbed by both locals and paparazzi and ended up going home early. Chris must remember this too because he quickly adds: “Somewhere small, with no tourists.”</p><p>“Like where?” Viktor says. He’s fairly certain that looking up places without tourists would lead to a list of ‘peaceful towns to visit’ which would invariably lead to tourists.</p><p>Chris hums thoughtfully to himself. “Oh!” he cries, startling Viktor. “Have you ever been to an onsen?”<br/><br/></p><p>❆❅❅❅❆</p>
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